Tuesday, December 15, 2009

AL GORE GOES THROUGH [CLIMATE] CHANGE OF LIFE:

CHILLS, NIGHT SWEATS, THERMOMETER GONE MAD
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
So said the inconveniently-named poet Robert Frost. Recently-minted poet lariat of Global Warmitude, former Ameriveep Al Gore, has been having Settled Science Hot Flashes of late.

First there was the earth's core -- he announced on television that we could use the geothermal energy of the earth to heat our homes because a few kilometers down below the surface, it's "millions of degrees". [hat-tip: infowars.com]

NOT.

Then today at the Hopenhagen Global Hot Air Festival, the mano-pausal perfesser claimed that "fresh science" claimed that the polar ice cap would be completely gone in about five years -- and he backed up this "settled science" with the research of one Dr. Wieslav Maslowski, who, as it turns out, is an unsettled scientist who says it ain't quite so.

AWKWARD!!!

Poor old Al. It's all coming apart on him: East Anglian perfidy, snowflakes in Pensacola, inconvenient facts slapping him in the chops.

We've seen him breathing fire:



We've seen him glaring ice:



We may yet see him have that nervous breakdown he's been working on since 2000.

We'll give the Poet Laureate the last word:

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Br-r-r-r-r. Hot flash would feel good right about now, huh, Al?